Year 30

Year 29 was absolutely, indescribably, incredible. 

It was so amazing putting this video together (see Instagram @ebeauprej or @bright_ages_), reflecting on my year, wondering how all this could have possibly happened in just one year?!

It's been one of the greatest gifts to watch myself grow and evolve - over the past ten years, but especially this last one. It feels like the first nine were for preparation and this last one was for execution. From a hidden, closeted, closed off version of myself to the person THAT I AM. 

I spent the beginning of the year focused working as a charge nurse in dialysis and living a fun-filled personal life. I went on fantastic trips and saw some incredible shows with the best of friends. Daily Sadhguru sadhana and meeting with Indie Beth Sage (my coach/mentor) weekly helped me to accomplish things I didn't at all see coming at 29. 

Mid-spring I was BLESSED with the opportunity to participate in six Umbandaime and Santo Daime ceremonies with Davi De Paula - our teacher from Brazil. Work with Truth is One Asheville changed the trajectory of my year and my life :) It took a lot of redirecting to understand and take action on what was being asked of me. I moved back in with my mom in preparation for my move to Asheville, NC. 

I was working on many things in the background but what had taken priority in my life was launching Bright Ages, an assignment that had come to me a long time ago. Working with Sanni Paakkonen and Micheal Parisi (two other mentors) helped me to move through this time with ease and grace.

Next thing I knew, life had redirected me, again. I was now packing and planning for Burning Man, Ursa Major (to see GRiZ for the last time), and my solo trip across the country. This trip started with Truth is One in Chicago, at the Parlement of the World’s Religions, where I was, again, BLESSED with an opportunity. This time, to be in the presence of Her Holiness, Amma Sri Karunamayi for a full week. This was another massive turning point for me that I could never fully put into words. <3 

Onward I went, finally at the burn! I’d waited years and years for this experience. Veteran burners say “welcome home,” and now I know why. This was truly a pilgrimage for me, as was my entire trip across the country. It took me to places I’d always wanted to see and required things from me that even I was impressed by. Two months across 20 states. So much time “alone.” I prayed often and always listened to the voice within.

In this video, as in my life, there seems to be a stark contrast of “who I am.” My life has always felt this way. I’m a chameleon… and a sagittarius. I adventure, explore, and try new things. I love almost everything I do and I BECOME that thing. From the outside this might seem fraudulent, and as a child it got me into trouble. My mother quickly became frustrated with each new hobby, sport, or creative outlet she now had to invest in… this, in combination with the rest of society’s conditioning, put me at odds with who I was and how I was supposed to show up in the world. It felt like I had to pick one thing - or a few things (max) - and somehow they all had to make sense and fit together.

I always, even throughout most of this year, thought “why can't I just find my thing or my place or who I’m meant to be.” I would go to ceremony and feel bad that I was at a rave the month before. Or go to a show or festival and feel like I was cheating on my spirituality. I was constantly shrinking the truth of who I was and explaining myself to those around me - as if the ways in which I was living my life couldn’t coexist. (I won't even begin to go into the ways this applied to nursing and its conflicts with my spirituality, personal life, and healing journey.)

From the outside, even my trip across the country was assumed to be much more recreational than intentional. In our society, we suffer from a gross misconception that things of enjoyment can’t possibly have reciprocal value to one's growth and evolution, especially when it comes to “work.” And ESPECIALLY if these things don’t involve a promise of monetary return. 

The contrast in preconceived notions of the ways in which I was living my life would get the best of me. Always thinking something had to change or I had to be different in some way. 

The irony of life is just that. Two things that seem to be so opposite can actually be quite similar. 

Finally, only now, after being bold enough to embrace who I am in all circles and settings, have I received validation from the universe that not only does this FEEL right but it IS right. Upon conducting other research I found an article and an entire publication linking raves and the Santo Diame bailando. This work highlights the centrality of dance (amongst many other similarities) in both of these psychedelic religious practices.

Since the very beginning of time humans have used fire, dance, and music for sacred ceremony, healing, ritual, and celebration amongst many other things. I knew, dancing in the middle of the desert under the starlit sky, that something felt eerily familiar and ineffably RIGHT. Following this passion of mine (and innate craving) has brought meaning and alignment to my life. All it took was letting go of the story I was telling myself in my head about who I had to be or what it needed to look like. You can be anything and everything as long as you're being your SELF <3

This same concept applies to all other areas of my life where there seems to be contradiction - I now see my life’s deepest lessons clearly laid out within the paradox. 

Pairing with God’s wisdom and strength from within has given me the courage, humility, and persistence to Live the Truth of who I am. My prayer for 30 is to grow deeper into this relationship with every breath I take - to be of service to God, myself, and all others. 

I want to thank every single person I met along my journey. Even those who don't follow me, or whom I may never come into contact with again - I extend my deepest gratitude to every person whose path I crossed. It was an extraordinary blessing. I thank my family, friends, mentors, and teachers. Your work has inspired me and transformed me beyond words. I am forever grateful and forever committed to perpetuating that change; bringing the New Earth into existence.

Not only is it a new year for me but a new DECADE. I’m so excited to see what 30 brings because I’m sure it’ll, somehow, in someway, top 29… because, that's just how life works! Live your Truth

& Love to All,

Emily